A NEW OURAN HOST
by My Pharaoh's Keeper
Summary: This is my redo of Ouran High School Host Club...and yes, Haruhi is an original member. Her back story will come along with everyone else. And guess who I'm pairing with my OC with... Tamaki x OC? Kyoya x OC? Hikaru x OC? Kaoru x OC? Mori x OC? Or Honey x OC? You'll find out soon...Hope you like!
1. Chapter 1 Starting Today, You're a Host!

MPK: YO! WHATS UP?! ITS ME, AGAIN, WRITING ANOTHER STORY...A NEW OURAN HOST! AND HERE WITH ME...IS OURAN'S VERY OWN, KAORU!

Kaoru: Hi. You're extra jumpy today.

MPK: Well yeah...ITS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW STORY! I'M LIKE THIS DURING THAT TIME.

Kaoru: Whatever. Disclaimer...

MPK: WAIT! DONT YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO ADD?!

Kaoru: No.

MPK: COME ON! PLEASE?!

Kaoru: No. Not until you stop eating sugar... AND GIVE ME SOME!

MPK: *gives Kaoru some sugar, and watches him scarf it down* This might be a bad idea.

Kaoru: *energetic* DISCLAIMER: MY PHARAOH'S KEEPER DOES NOT OWN OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB! HOPE YOU ENJOY THE FIRST CHAPTER!

MPK: ENJOY!

A/N: PLEASE CHECK OUT THE DESCRIPTION FOR THE OC AT THE BOTTOM OF MY PROFILE! I THINK IT IS VERY IMPORTANT 2 KNOW WHAT THE PERSON LOOKS LIKE! AND THE OC'S PIC WILL BE POSTED AS THE COVER PAGE SOON!

* * *

_**EPIC BEGINNING THEME MUSIC**_

Author's P.O.V.

It was 3:00 on a fall afternoon as one gentlemen walked through the huge hallways of Ouran Academy, looking for a place to study. He had tried the libraries but all **4** of them were full. He had thought that he would never find a quiet place, that one didn't exist here, but that was until...

"Music room 4, huh? It looks abandoned." The Ouran High transfer student said to himself. "Hope I can study in here." The door opened by itself and rose petals blew in his face.

"Welcome!" Some voices greeted. There stood 6 boys standing by behind 1 boy sitting in a chair.

"LOOK ITS A BOY! THOSE ARE RARE!" They shouted.

"What can we do for you today?" The blond boy in the chair asked. The transfer student jumped back outside the door and shut it. The boys were confused.

"Hey Kaoru, Haruhi, isn't that the new boy from homeroom?" The spiky orange-haired boy asked his twin brother and a brunette.

"I think it is, Hikaru." Kaoru (the twin) answered. Haruhi nodded.

"Well, don't let our new guest just walk away!" The blond boy shouted. The twins grinned evilly at each other.

"LETS GET HIM!" They rushed out the door, it slamming behind them. Not long after, the twins came back, Hikaru holding the new student on his shoulder, kicking and screaming. "WE GOT EM' BOSS!" Hikaru dropped the kid on the floor. The transfer student fixed his glasses.

"Hikaru! Kaoru! Be gentle with our new guest!" The blond shouted.

"My, my." The tall black haired boy with glasses began. "That's not just a new student, or a new guest." He bent down in front of the new kid. "Forgive my friends. Its nice to meet you, Mister dean student..." Everyone gasped.

"Dean student?"

"You mean he's smarter than Haru-chan?"

"Hey!" Haruhi shouted offended. The blond pushed the glasses boy out of the way, kneeling beside the dean student.

"Tamaki!" Glasses shouted.

"NO WAY! YOU MUST BE CASPER JAY!" Tamaki shouted in his face. "We've heard about you! You're one of the smartest commoner in this school." Jay rushed toward the door, but the twins stood in the way.

"NOT SO FAST! LISTEN TO WHAT THE BOSS HAS TO SAY!" They sat the kid right where he had fallen on the floor.

"H-How did you know, m-my name?" The poor kid asked afraid to know the answer.

"You're famous around here. You may be the smartest commoner in this Academy." Glasses answered finally getting up from the floor. Tamaki put a hand on the transfer student's shoulders.

"YOUR A ROLE MODEL FOR ALL POOR PEOPLE, CASPER!" He shouted in his face.

"Why does this conversation sound familiar?" Haruhi asked.

"LONG LIVE THE POOR!..." Tamaki went on and on about Jay being commoner. Then something Tamaki said caught Jay's attention...

"Who knew that the proud dean student, would be so openly gay..."

"WHAT?!" Casper shouted.

"So what type are you into Jay-kun?" He pointed to the other tall black haired boy. "Do prefer the strong, silent type?" Next he pointed to the little blond haired boy. "The boy-Lolita?" Then the twins, "How about the mischievous type?" Then the boy with glasses, "The cool type?" Then the brunette, "The natural type?" And finally to himself, "Or maybe you're into a guy like me?" Tamaki stared into Jay's mix-match eyes, (one yellow, the other green) and caressed his cheek. "So who do you pick?" Casper had enough, so he punched Tamaki in the face with such force, he landed against the wall, making a small crack.

"LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FREAKS!" Jay shouted and ran out again, this time, no one to stop him.

"BOSS!" Everyone ran over to him "ARE YOU OKAY?!"

"He hit me..." Tamaki mumbled in shock. Then he started to cry, "KYOYA!" The glasses kid came over to him.

"What is it Tamaki?"

"HE HIT ME!" Tamaki burst into tears. Kyoya rolled his eyes.

"Since I know Tamaki, he probably wants me to do something about this. Besides that boy made a crack in our wall, he must pay for it. Haruhi, Hikaru, Kaoru. Bring the new boy here tomorrow after school." Kyoya pushed his glasses on his face. "We have a bone to pick with him." His voice had dropped making him scarier than he really was.

"YES KYOYA!"

**AFTER SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY...**

The class exited the classroom. Jay was still packing up his things after class when Haruhi came up to him. "Hey Jay! How've you been?!" Jay didn't answer. "I haven't seen you in forever, until yesterday!" No response. "Aw come on! You can't just not talk to me!" Jay grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He started to walk away until Haruhi put a hand on his shoulder, "I know you're a girl, Jay." Jay froze.

"I'm not a girl." He started to walk away again.

"You're name isn't Casper Jay, its Ciara Jay, right?" Jay turned to Haruhi, grabbed him by the collar and pushed him against the wall.

"How do you now my name?!" Jay's voice turned into the voice of an angry girl. Haruhi waved her hands in front of her.

"Ciara chill! Cause I'm a girl too!" Jay raised an eyebrow. "Don't you remember?! Its me! Haruhi!" Jay's mix match eyes narrowed then widened in realization.

"Haruhi? Haruhi Fujioka? Is that really you?!" Haruhi nodded. Jay let go and gave her a hug. "Haruhi! I haven't seen you since middle school!"

"You either!" They let go.

"You look like a kinda look like a boy." Jay told her.

"You do too! What's up with that? How'd you end up at Ouran? And where's your uniform?" Haruhi started messing with Jay's black leather jacket. "I thought you had enough money to buy one. I mean you're r..."

"I just want to be a normal student here. I'm trying to keep..._that part..._a secret."

"Really? I just thought that you're here finally with your own kind, you'd want to show off your power." Jay put her hands in her pocket and shrugged.

"Nah. Not interested."

"And the boy look?"

"I came here lookin like this and people immediately thought I was a boy so I just stuck with it. Your reason?" Haruhi sighed.

"The same story. But that was until I was forced to join the host club...but that's a whole other story."

"You've gotta tell me about it later! Does anyone else know?"

"Just the host club."

"How long did it take for them to figure out you're a girl?" Haruhi gulped.

"A day?" It came out as a question.

"Only...a day?" Jay asked in shock. She laughed, Haruhi sweatdropped. "Only a day! I could go longer than you could! Actually, I already have!" Haruhi frowned. "Hey! I have an idea! Haruhi, how long do you think I can keep my secret about me being a girl?" She thought for a moment.

"Oh I don't know...4 days I guess..." Jay gasped.

"4 days! Are you kidding?! Haruhi, I could go longer than that! Maybe... for 2 weeks!?" Haruhi muffled a laugh. "Oh you don't think so? Alright Haruhi Fujioka, I challenge you to a bet! Starting today, if I can stay a boy for 2 weeks without ANYONE finding out, except you of course, you have to stop pretending you're a boy and tell the whole school the true..." Haruhi stopped laughing and started choking.

"WHAT?!"

"But if I lose...You and anyone you choose can stay at my place for a week..." Haruhi's eyes widened. Jay knew Haruhi would never pass a deal like that up.

"DEAL!" The 2 girls shook on it.

"But you have to cover for me, Haruhi. You can't tell anyone, or I win automatically."

"I can handle that." Haruhi put a hand on Jay's shoulder. "You can count on me! Besides, you not going to win anyway, what do I have to lose?"

"We'll see, Haruhi, we'll see. Haruhi Fujioka, **GET YOUR GAME ON!**" See what I did there?

"Aw man! Haruhi found her first!" The girls turned to see the twins in the doorway.

"Hikaru! Kaoru! There you are!" Haruhi and Jay walked over.

"Which one's which?" Jay asked confusingly. The twins smirked at each other.

"Oh I'm Hikaru, that's Kaoru. But you better remember, it might be important later." Hikaru told Jay grinning evilly. Jay became even more confused.

"Jay-kun, the boss wants to see you. Haruhi was suppose to tell you." Kaoru told him. They looked at Haruhi. She sweatdropped and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Sorry, I didn't get around to it." The twins picked up the transfer student by his arms.

"LETS GO ALREADY!"

"Hey! PUT ME DOWN!"

"HIKARU! KAORU!"

**DAY 1 AND COUNTING...**

**AT MUSIC ROOM #4...**

"LET ME GO!"

"OKAY!" The twins dropped Jay in front of Tamaki and Kyoya. "HERE HE IS BOSS! JUST AS YOU REQUESTED!" Kyoya turned Jay, Tamaki not quite ready to face him yet.

"CASPER JAY! You not only punched our leader, Tamaki..."

"Leader? Is he really?" The twins nodded.

"...but you have also made a crack in one of our walls. Its about 10,000 yen for the wall, and 3,000 for the mental scarring you gave Tamaki. All equaling to 13,000 yen."

"You're kidding right?"

"Nope. You're lucky really. I could've added on interest, plus if Tamaki would've been really hurt, you really would be paying for a lot more. But sense you can't even pay what you are in debt...what do you suppose we do Tamaki?" Tamaki sat in that comfortable arm chair of his and crossed his legs.

"Well Jay-kun, there's a saying for this situation. 'When in Rome do as the Romans do!' Since you have no money, you can pay with your body! STARTING TODAY..." Tamaki bent down and lifted Jay's head up to face his. "...You're the host club's dog."

"THATS WHY THIS CONVERSATION SOUNDS FAMILIAR! THIS IS THE SAME ONE YOU GUYS HAD WITH ME!" Haruhi shouted in realization, but everyone ignored her.

"King Tamaki, was it? Uh...I really don't..." Tamaki gasped when heard 'King'.

"YOU CALLED ME, KING!" He shouted happily. He hugged Jay, "YOU CALLED ME KING! I'M SO HAPPY!" Jay could not believe this right now, any of it. Tamaki let go and cuffed Jay's face in his hands, "MAYBE YOU'RE NOT ALL THAT BAD AFTER ALL!" Everyone sweatdropped. Suddenly some girls arrived. They gasped, and everyone turned to them.

"SO CUTE!" They shouted. Jay had anime question mark above his head. "TAMAKI, YOU GUYS HAVE A NEW HOST?!" Tamaki's eyes widened then inspected Jay. His eyes opened wider. Tamaki dropped Jay on the floor and turned the girls.

"Actually, we do, but he isn't quite open for business, yet..."

"WHAT?!" The other host shouted.

"Who is that? Cause I know its not me..." Tamaki put a hand over Jay's mouth.

"Just give us a minute ladies." The girls nodded and Tamaki pushed Jay in the opposite direction of them, the host followed them. "Look Jay-kun, we're moving you up the ranks, from the host club's dog to a host. I'll teach you everything I know, just like I did Haruhi. Get 60 customers to request you, and debt will be paid. But first...you need a makeover..."

"WHAT?!" Tamaki silence him with his hand and tried to take off his glasses. Jay tried to bit him, but Tamaki took them off just in time, seeing his mix-match eyes and his jaw dropped. He then pointed to the crew. "HIKARU, KAORU, UNIFORM! KYOYA, MY HAIR STYLIST! MORI-SEMPAI! CONTACTS!"

"YOU GOT IT BOSS!" They all ran away somewhere.

"WHAT ABOUT US, SEMPAI?!" Haruhi, and the little blond haired boy asked.

"Haruhi, Honey-Sempai...go have so cake..." And they went away...to have some cake, depressed they couldn't help. Not long after, Jay was in the dressing room, everyone outside waiting. "Aren't you done yet?" Jay hesitated but came out. He finally had on the school uniform, no glasses to cover his face revealing his mix match eyes, and 'Jaden Yuki' style hair. The host gasped.

"Jay looks nice, right Hikaru?" Kaoru asked his twin.

"He looks alright, I guess." Kaoru finally noticed that his twin was doing a face plant...(A/N: Trying to hide the blush on his face.) ...but said nothing of it.

"JAY-KUN! YOU LOOK SO CUTE!" Honey-Sempai shouted. They all agreed. Tamaki gave him a bear hug. When he let go, he pushed him toward his first customers.

"NOW, GO GET 'EM!" And Jay went to work...or tried...

"So, Jay-kun, what do you do for fun?"

"I'm interested in you're back story..."

"Why was Tamaki holding you like that, and why were you on your knees?" Jay became confused very quickly. Tamaki anxiously watched from his side of the club, the others doing the same. Jay took a deep breath and decided to answer the last question. He was trying to turn on...his boy charm.

'Here goes...' Jay thought.

"Tamaki was punishing me for breaking his wall..." Jay started to explain in a emoish voice. "Tamaki assaulted me, but its okay. Back where I'm from, I was treated like this all the time. I got used to it. I just hope that he can forgive me for doing such terrible things."

"Oh Jay..."

Jay started to tear up, making the girls gasp, "I've tried to mend my ways, but I'm always getting into trouble. Does anyone know whats wrong with me? Why do I do commit so many horrible crimes?!" Jay broke down and the girls all surrounded him with hugs. The hosts jaw dropped and group together.

"He's a natural." Kyoya said.

"That was..." Hikaru started.

"...Amazing. No training needed." Kaoru finished.

"Why is he so popular?" Tamaki asked himself. They continued to watch. Jay was really crying a river now.

"Why do I do this to myself?! I'M SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON!" The girls sat next to him and comforted him.

"Don't cry Jay!" Girl #1 said.

"You're not a horrible person." Girl #2 told him.

"You're just complicated, misunderstood." Girl #3 stated comforting notion.

"Does anyone have a tissue?" One of them gave Jay a handkerchief, and he wiped his eyes. "Thank you. I'm sorry I made you guys listen to all of that, but I had to vent you know?" They nodded. "Its good to know I have people that will listen to me." Jay caressed the cheek of one of the girls, looking into her eyes. "I'm glad I've finally found people who really care about me. It's a nice feeling, you know?"

"O-Of c-course." Girl #1 stuttered. "J-Jay-kun?"

"Yes, my flower?" Girl #1 fainted, so the Girl #2 asked instead.

"Is it okay...if we request you again tomorrow?" Jay's eyes lit up.

"Really? Of course you can." Jay grabbed her hands and look into her eyes. "I would really appreciate it." He then turned to Girl #3 and cupped her face in his hands. "You girls are so good to me." The other girls fainted.

"He really is popular." Tamaki said.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten about me?" A red head asked him.

"Oh sorry, Princess, I was just worried about or newest host."

"That's obvious." She took a sip of tea. "You must be really worried, if you watch every move he makes."

"I have to. I'm training him to be like me." He called Jay over.

"What's up?" He asked Tamaki.

"Meet Princess Ayanokoji. She's a regular guest of mine."

"Uh, its nice to meet you, Princess." Jay bowed, like a bow, and winked. Tamaki suddenly tackled him. He spun him around, and around, and around.

"THAT WAS SO CUTE! AMAZING! YOU'RE SO CUTE!"

"MORI-SEMPAI! HELP ME!" Jay shouted frantically to the first person he saw. Mori quickly ran over and picked Jay up, getting him away from Tamaki, with a slight blush on his face.

"Uh, Mori-Sempai, you didn't have to go that far." Mori put Jay down and walked away. Haruhi came up behind Jay.

"I have a bad feeling about that girl, you better be careful." She warned. Jay nodded.

"LET ME GIVE YOU A HUG!" Tamaki shouted.

"NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!" The princess look at the scene with so much jealousy.

**Later...**

"Where's my stuff?" Jay looked around for it then spotted it out the window. "Oh come on, seriously?" Jay left and started to run outside to the pond, where her stuff had been thrown, but stop when he spotted the princess.

"I bet you love Tamaki fawning over you, Jay. But its useless, you're always going to be a low class citizen." She walked away. Jay was going to retaliate but didn't feel like it. He had more important things to worry about. Outside, Jay had gotten everything out of the pond, except for her journal. She searched and searched but it was no use.

"Commoner. You have some nerve walking out on the club like that." said a voice. It was Tamaki. "Why your stuff wet?"

"No big deal, I got it." Jay said still looking for that journal. He stopped when she realized Tamaki was helping her. "You don't have to..."

"A little water never hurt anyone. Besides, people are always telling me I'm dripping with good looks." Jay muffled a laugh. "Uh, is this what you're looking for?" He started to read the 'Belongs to' section, but Jay snatched it from him.

"Its mine okay." They stared into each other's eyes for a moment.

"Jay, you're staring off into space, don't tell me you've fallen for me?!" Tamaki said.

"In you're dreams, Sempai."

"How'd you're bag get in the pond anyway?"

"Uh...I think I dropped it out the window at some point." Jay lied. Tamaki saw right through that, but said nothing.

**Day 2...**

**At the host club...**

"Thrown in the pond huh? I'd be mad if someone did that to me. And you made Tamaki search that dirty pond with you? Amazing. You do know that Tamaki's a blue blood not a commoner right? They only reason he agreed to help you is he's trying to turn you into a gentlemen. He doesn't really care about..."

"You're jealous of me, aren't you?" The princess suddenly pushed the table into Jay, making him fall on top of her.

"AHHH! NO JAY, LEAVE ME ALONE! HELP! HE'S ATTACKING ME!" Jay went wide eyed. "SOMEONE DO SOMETHING!" The twins dumped water on both of them. "WHY'D YOU DO THAT?!" Tamaki walked over and held the princess up. "Oh Tamaki, do something! Jay just attacked..."

"I'm disappointed in you. You threw Jay's bag into the pond...didn't you?"

"You have no proof." She shot back.

"You're a beautiful girl, but you're not classy enough to be in this club. I know this for certain, Jay isn't that type of a man."

"YOU IDIOT!" The princess ran away. Tamaki helped Jay off the floor.

"How am I gonna punish you..." He thought. "You're debt is now up to 15,000 yen!" Jay fainted, but was caught by Hikaru.

"That's too much boss. Its not really his fault..."

"Don't question my judgement, Hikaru!" Tamaki shouted. "Just find him a change of clothes and help him change." Hikaru sighed but did what he was told. In a dressing room, Hikaru started to undress Jay, starting with his tie, then his jacket, meanwhile having a huge blush on his face.

'I don't get why I keep blushing around this guy.' He thought to himself. 'I mean, he just looks so much like a girl...' As he started to unbutton Jay's shirt Haruhi came in.

"Jay, I brought you you're..." She spotted Hikaru. "HIKARU! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Helping him change, like the boss said." Hikaru didn't turn around trying to hide his blush from her.

"Well...you don't have to, I'll do it." Hikaru jumped in front of her.

"What?! NO YOU CAN'T!" Haruhi saw his face and tried so hard to not laugh.

"Why are you blushing Hikaru?" She asked a sly grin slide across her face. Hikaru's eyes widened and covered his face.

"Fine! Do want you want!" And ran out of there. Haruhi let out a laugh the walked over to Jay, shaking him/her.

"Jay! Jay wake up!" Jay punched Haruhi in the face, stretching as she awoke.

"15,000?! Are you serious?!" Jay looked around to see Haruhi holding her nose. "Oh, sorry Haruhi. Was that a dream?"

"Sadly no."

"Oh."

"Did you know you almost lost the bet?" Jay's eyes widened.

"How?"

"Hikaru was about to undress you..."

"HIKARU WAS ABOUT TO UNDRESS ME?! THE RAPIST!"

"No its not like that! When you passed out..."

**Flashback**

_"How am I gonna punish you..." He thought. "You're debt is now up to 15,000 yen!" Jay fainted, but was caught by Hikaru._

_"That's too much boss. Its not really his fault..."_

_"Don't question my judgement, Hikaru!" Tamaki shouted. "Just find him a change of clothes and help him change." Hikaru sighed but did what he was told. In a dressing room, Hikaru started to undress Jay, starting with his tie, then his jacket, meanwhile having a huge blush on his face._

_'I don't get why I keep blushing around this guy.' He thought to himself. 'I mean, he just looks so much like a girl...' As he started to unbutton Jay's shirt Haruhi came in._

_"Jay, I brought you you're..." She spotted Hikaru. "HIKARU! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"_

_"Helping him change, like the boss said." Hikaru didn't turn around trying to hide his blush from her._

_"Well...you don't have to, I'll do it." Hikaru jumped in front of her._

_"What?! NO YOU CAN'T!" Haruhi saw his face and tried so hard to not laugh._

_"Why are you blushing Hikaru?" She asked a sly grin slide across her face. Hikaru's eyes widened and covered his face._

_"Fine! Do want you want!" And ran out of there._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"Damn Tamaki..." Jay cursed.

"Look just hurry and change. Here, they gave you a girl's uniform to put on but I found another's boy uniform. Try this instead."

"Thanks." After changing, the girls, excuse me, the boy and girl went to join everyone else.

'I wonder what would've happened if I hadn't come in to rescued Jay...' Haruhi thought.

"Hikaru is either a perv or he's a _real_ loyal member to the host club. Haruhi, its gonna be a long and hard 2 weeks, but I'll think I'll manage. I wonder how I'll pull it off... I know! I call everyone bro & dude now!" They laughed.

_**EPIC END THEME MUSIC**_

* * *

Jay: Whoa, someone else has requested me...

Tamaki: DON'T STEAL MY CUSTOMERS!

Kaoru: Why does she keep host hopping?!

Hikaru: Why is she so interested in Jay?! *pouts*

Haruhi: And why does she keep staring into teacups?!

Mori: Next time, A Job of a High School Host.

Kyoya: The Ouran host club will be waiting for you.

Honey: See you then!

* * *

MPK: EPISODE 1 DONE! J2LUK (Just to let you know), I'm gonna add some extra episodes in the season, so yeah. Kaoru, what do you think?

Kaoru: No one's suppose to know Jay is a girl, right?

MPK: Right.

Kaoru: But, now I know... *I whack him unconscious*

MPK: Uh...please Read and Review...while I try to find so brainwashing liquid...HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE 1ST CHAP!


	2. Chapter 2 Job Of A High School Host

Before I continue, there's something I'd like to make clear. Haruhi has not gone through the episodes, she is an original member. She hasn't gone through what happens in the episodes yet. She and Jay will together. Okay? Hope that clears things up a little.

P.S. I changed it so she doesn't sound like Raven in her regular voice, she sounds like Anzu instead.

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing...except Jay.

A/N: (Sorry, one more thing to say) Haruhi will probably act a little OOC for the rest of the book...well at least when she's hanging with Jay. She'll be a little more...bubbly than the usual depressed voiced, emo...ish, self that is portrait in the episodes or manga.

* * *

_**EPIC BEGINNING THEME MUSIC**_

**DAY 3 AND COUNTING**...

**Author's P.O.V.**

Haruhi met Jay at the library the next day after school. The 2 walked to Music room 4, talking and chatting, just like they use to do.

"Why did you come to Ouran, Ciara?" Haruhi asked Jay. Since they hadn't gotten to the host club yet, Jay replied in _her_ normal voice.

"Oh, I don't know...I guess I realized Calico Academy wasn't the best place for me to continue my studies..."

**HISTORY LESSON: Calico Academy. A fine ****preforming arts **institute is a school for young people who don't have the money for a real expensive school. Calico maybe a school for middle class people (Commoners), but it is the best preforming arts academy in the country. Ciara Jay, who wants to become actress later in life, (HINT HINT...), went here after middle school to continue her studies in the Performing Arts Industry. Even though Ciara is rich beyond belief, she decided to go to Calico, 1. because it was a top school, & 2. because she wanted to be treated like a normal person. Ciara didn't want to be known for being rich, she wanted to be known for her acting skills. So, ever since she started going there, she kept her real identity about being rich, a secret. And now, ever since she transferred here, she keeps her full identity on the DL. 

**_Haruhi knows all of this._**

"...or it could have been because I was just bored..."

"So that's code for...oh yeah, you had a fight and broke up with another boyfriend, right?" Haruhi deciphered.

"How did you know?" Jay asked her. Haruhi shrugged.

"I just know you like that, Ciara."

"Yeah whatev." They looked at each other, than they both laughed. Unaware to them, someone had listened to the entire conversation. (STALKER...) The mysterious person then disappeared inside of the host club. (DUN. DUN. DAH!)

"Speaking of boyfriends...where's yours?"

Haruhi sweatdropped, "How did I know you were gonna go there...I don't have one..."

"Really? What about one of the boys from the host club?" They stood just a corner from Music Room 4.

Haruhi waved her hands in front of her. "NO WAY! I'D NEVER...EVEN CONSIDER GOING WITH ANYONE~!"

"Okay! Okay! But, why? I don't see w~" When they opened the doors and the whole place was decked out like a tropical paradise. "Never mind."

"Welcome!" They shouted. They looked at the boys then at each other.

"Can you see this from heaven mom? This is the club I was forced to join." Haruhi said loud enough for Jay to hear.

"Same here, dad. Is this the life god really wants me to live? Lonely and surrounded by weirdos?"

"Preach Jay, preach!" The two laughed. They really did have fun together. Once they noticed that boys were watching with question marks on their heads, they stopped. Jay put an arm around Haruhi shoulder. "But seriously, you're friends are crazy." She whispered.

"I, once thought crazy was an understatement, but I was wrong." Jay turn to them.

"But seriously, why'd does this place look like the set of a Indiana Jones movie? Last time I checked, its still early spring." Tamaki came in between the two and pushed Jay out the way, making him almost fall over. Jay wanted to kill that guy...

"Why huddle under a kotatsu table when we have the best heating system?" He said putting his arm around Haruhi. Tamaki glared at Jay. "And don't touch my Haruhi!" Jay sweatdropped.

"No boyfriend, huh?" Haruhi shook her head repeatedly.

"Do you have a problem with the way we run our club, Jay? Haruhi? Be careful what you say, you owe us 15,000 thousand yen, Jay. And you 8 million yen, Haruhi." Jay cringed remembering her debt but then went wide eyed at Haruhi's.

"8 million yen?!"

"Its a long story."

"Fine men do not bundle up in bulky clothing. It maybe spring out there, but in here we welcome our chilly little kittens to a warm tropical aura!" Tamaki grabbed Jay by the collar and put an arm around his neck. "Yes! Today this place is a supreme paradise! A hot island of everlasting summer!"

"Thats funny, cause I feel a massive chill right now."

"Same here."

**The host club is open for business...**

Jay and Haruhi catered to the guest since they weren't wearing the uniform they were told to. They really didn't want to play along with this. Suddenly they stopped and turned to Tamaki after hearing a comment he said, "A party?"

"Yeah, we are renting the largest hall in the school..." Hikaru started.

"...it's the best place for dancing." Kaoru finished. Hikaru lifted Kaoru's face to his.

"But I wanted to spend alone time with you, Kaoru."

"Don't worry, Hikaru, I know how you feel." When the girls gained hearts in their eyes, Haruhi sweatdropped, Jay had a question mark on top of his head.

"They're more worked up the usual." Jay said in his guy voice (Jaden from GX abridged, remember?). "And are those 2 gay?" She asked Haruhi. Kyoya came in between them.

"Skin proves popular with the ladies, and No. Its just there type."

"Type?"

"Yes. The twins are the mischievous/little-devil type. Honey and Mori-Sempai are the boy-Lolita and strong silent type. Haruhi is the natural type, Tamaki is the princely type and I am the cool type. We blend our character traits together to make the girls happy. That is the whole point of the host club."

"Oh! Okay, now I get why this club was established. But then, if all that true, what type am I?" Jay asked, Tamaki budded in.

"That's right! We haven't given you a type yet! Well based off your host style, you are the c~" Kyoya interrupted.

"Tamaki, you have no idea what his type is do you?" Tamaki froze then hung his head in shame.

"No."

Kyoya sighed, "Well, the way I see it, your host style is the opposite of Haruhi's. Therefore, your type would be...the emotional type."

"The emotional type?" The boys repeated in unison.

"Yes. You see, Haruhi's the natural type, She, I mean he, makes the girls happy by just being himself. Jay on the other hand, changes emotion quickly, so you can't really tell which is his normal self. He can turn happy to sad, sad to excited, excited to embarrassed, embarrassed to depressed, the list goes on. Jay actually doesn't just change the emotion, but actually over does it, exaggerates one might say." Jay sweatdropped.

"Kyoya's right! Okay Jay, from this day forth, you are the emotional type!" Tamaki shouted and slung an arm over Jay's neck, creating a one-arm headlock. "Now I can finally make you part of the family!"

"Yo! LET GO!" Jay struggled to get out of Tamaki's embrace, but no avail. With his free hand, he slung an arm around Haruhi's shoulders, bringing her closer to him.

"SEMPAI, LET GO!"

Tamaki ignored both of them, "Isn't this great?! Now, not only do I have a daughter, I have a son too!~"

"Goody." When Tamaki finally let go, everyone went back to work.

"Hey Kyoya, did you come up with this tropical paradise idea?" Haruhi asked him.

"Tamaki makes all the decisions...but I did slip a Bali photo book on his desk. That probably gave him the idea."

"So in other words, it _was_ your idea."

"Yup."

**Later...**

"So Haruhi, Jay, aren't you going to wear a tropical outfit like the others?" Girl #1 asked.

"Yes, I'd love to see that." Girl #2 said.

"Uh, no."

"Nope."

"Stupid! Can't you see they're trying to match!" Girl #3 shouted at the other 2.

"Actually, we just think its appropriate to wear early spring attire...in early spring...you catch my drift?" The girls nodded.

Tamaki budded in the conversation, "Guys, we have ones ready for you! And you'll like yours Haruhi, we match..."

"No thanks."

"No way dawg!" Tamaki went to his little spot in the corner again.

"Wow! You guys are really faithful to the different seasons!"

"I think that's great! I hope the cherry blossoms are in full bloom on the night of the party!"

"Us dancing among the cherry blossoms..." They all sighed daydreaming. "So dreamy..."

"Really?" Haruhi asked placing her fist on her cheek. "Ladies, we think you're so cute when you daydream like that. Right, Jay?" Jay smirked lifted Haruhi face by her chin, so that it faced hers...I mean his...

"Strange, I was going to say that about you, Haruhi-kun." Jay's smirked widened. Out of the corner of his eye, he looked at the twins, suddenly Haruhi understood where he was going with this. She blushed and looked away with her eyes.

"Please Jay-kun, not in front of the ladies." The twins turned to the scene. The girls we're on the edge of their seats.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist."

"SO CUTE!" The girls suddenly squealed, Haruhi and Jay high-fived, and laughed. The twins glared, and as soon as they noticed, they stopped. Jay fake-coughed.

"Jay, Haruhi-kun, you guys seem to get along really well..."

"...is there a special reason why?" The girls leaned in. They sweatdropped.

"Actually ladies, we get along because we've known each other since middle school..."

"WHAT!?" All the host shouted...except for one...(I'll let you guys which one...)

"Jay-kun..." Haruhi murmured in concern.

"Don't worry, Haruhi. I got this..." He ruffled her hair. Jay sat in a chair next to Haruhi. "Life was difficult for me back then. With mom always at work and no dad, I had to take care of my little bro all by myself. We were raised by maids instead of our parents, but I was really the only one my brother really trusted. It got so bad that I actually almost dropped out of school to take care of him...that was until I met Haruhi. He convinced me stay in school and follow my dream. If it wasn't for Haruhi...I don't know what I'd being doing to take care of my brother. I guess because of that, we became friends...and slowly best friends." Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru and Honey were in the corner crying because of the sad story.

"We understand each other...that's why we're so close." They smiled at each other and the girls tackled and embraced them. As they struggled against them, a girl walked over to Haruhi.

"Excuse me, but I think its time for the host to switch clients." Jay sighed.

"She's right, Haruhi. I gotta get back to my station anyway." Jay finally escaped the girls and made his way over to his station, only to see a line of girls waiting. He sweatdropped. "This gonna take a while." He looked over at Haruhi and saw the girl lift his chin.

"You're cuter than the rumors. I've decided, you're going to be my new favorite host."

**After closing time...**

'I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.' Tamaki thought slurping down ramen.

"Boss, stop eating commoner's ramen and come help us plan this party! Does it really bother you that Kasuga-chan has taking a liking to Haruhi?"

"He can't be surprised, the Princess has had the illness for a while now..."

"Wait! Before we get into this subject..." Jay walks over to Kyoya. "Kyoya-Sempai, I didn't know you were on twitter all this time! Hell, I didn't even know you had one!"

"I'm not." Kyoya stated bluntly. "See, I have no tabs up that say twitter."

"Then how come your computer's status clearly say...**_#madtyping_**?" Kyoya stopped typing and looked up, an annoyed expression on his face. Haruhi and the twins laughed.

"GOOD ONE JAY-KUN!"

"Damn, I didn't think it was that funny...I gotta use that joke more often..." Jay cleared his throat. "Anyway, Illness?"

"The host hopping disease. A.K.A. the never the same boy twice disease." Kaoru explained. "See, our customers usually go to the same host all the time, but Princess Kanako Kasugazaki switches host on a regular bases."

"Before she chose Haruhi, she chose the boss." Hikaru continued.

"Oh. So Sempai's mad cause I stole her?" Haruhi asked.

"That's pretty petty, dawg." Jay stated.

"SHUT UP! I COULD CARE LESS!" Tamaki yelled in their faces. "I'm running out of patience!"

"You had patience?" Tamaki ignored the comment.

"HARUHI! ITS TIME YOU STARTED DRESSING LIKE A GIRL! I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU'RE SO POPULAR WITH THE LADIES, _**WHEN YOU YOURSELF ARE A LADY!**_ NO ONE KNOWS THE TRUTH EXCEPT FOR US!" Tamaki ran over to box, opened it, and started searching for something. "NOW YOU LISTEN TO DADDY...DADDY WANTS YOU TO GO THE WAY YOU WERE!" (Ra, I love this scene...)

"DON'T BLOW UP MY PHOTOS WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST!" Jay was rolling on the floor laughing.

Everyone stared at the picture, "The more I look at it, the more amazed I am...how did you go from that, to what you looked like when you first met us?"

"A kid in the neighbor put some gum in my hair the day before school. It was hard to get it out so I just cut it of. I didn't care if I looked like a dude..."

"A GIRL SHOULD NEVER REFER TO HERSELF AS A DUDE!" Jay laughed harder. Suddenly, Tamaki picked him up by the collar. "SEE! THIS IS A _DUDE_! **JAY** IS MY _ONLY_ CHILD BORN WITH TESTOSTERONE FLOWING THROUGH HIS VEINS!" Jay went wide eyed.

"Whoa wo wa wo wa whoa! What?!" Jay quoted a line from GX abridged. "#1 If that was suppose to be a joke, you've gone to far! And #2...STOP CALLING ME YOUR SON!" He dropped Jay, ignoring him. (Tamaki is ignoring everyone today...)

"MOMMY! HARUHI'S USING THOSE DIRTY BOY WORDS AGAIN AND MY SON DOESN'T RESPECT ME!" Tamaki collapses on the floor and Haruhi helps Jay up.

"I'm sorry but, who's mommy?"

"Based on club position, I think its me." Kyoya replied.

"Why are you crying? Working as a host is helping me pay back more of my debt. It'll never happen if I'm an errand boy..."

"Hate to change the subject..." Hikaru interrupted. "But do you or Jay have any dancing experience? You'll need it at the party."

Haruhi sweat-drops, "Uh, no. But that has nothing to do with our quota...right? I mean I had no intention of going..." Tamaki came up behind Haruhi.

"No way! All fine gentlemen must know how to dance...IF YOU AND JAY WANT TO WALK THE PATH OF A HOST THAT BADLY, THEN YOU BOTH HAVE TO SHOW US HOW FAR YOU WILL GO! IF YOU CAN'T MASTER THE WALTZ IN 1 WEEK AND DEMONSTRATE IT FRONT OF US AT THE PARTY, **THEN I'LL TELL EVERYONE HARUHI IS A GIRL AND KNOCK BOTH OF YOU BACK DOWN TO ERRAND BOYS!**"

"STOP YELLING!" Jay shouts in Tamaki's face, making him shut up. "Look, you're threat means nothing to me. I already know how to dance, plus I have no secret to be exposed..." Kyoya snickered. Jay turned to him. "Uh, what so funny Kyoya?"

"Its nothing."

"No. You obviously have something to say so go ahead say it, everyone's listening." Jay said getting in his face.

"If I said what I was thinking, you'd be embarrassed right now, so I suggest you get out of my face before I raise your quota again!" They growled, a lightning bolt flashed in between the 2. Tamaki jumped in between them.

"Look let's just calm down, & solve this problem without such loud voices..."

"TAMAKI, I CAN HANDLE THIS, SO SHUT UP AND GO SIT IN YOUR LITTLE EMO CORNER! " Jay shouted, and he did just that. Jay sighed. "Look I'll deal with you later..." Kyoya fixed his glasses. Jay turned to Haruhi, "Haruhi, I can teach you how to dance if you want."

"REALLY?!" Haruhi's eyes lit up, excitement in her voice. That made Tamaki want to tackle Jay, but the twins held him back. Jay nodded. "That'd be awesome!"

"YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING!~" The twins slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Okay Haruhi, we'll start first thing tomorrow." Tamaki collapsed in the twins arms and started having a tantrum, making them let go. "I think we should leave now..."

"Good idea..."

**The next day...**

**DAY 4...**

Jay taught Haruhi the basics. Haruhi leaded, (The man) and Jay followed, (The woman). Tamaki watched from his corner of despair, the twins watching him.

"Why so down, boss?"

"I bet he wanted to be the one Haruhi practiced with."

"You might be right. But he's too tall to stand in as the woman." The twins snickered.

'Its okay, Jay's just teaching her how to dance. They still have a brother and sister relationship.' Tamaki thought. 'No need to worry. He's not trying to steal her heart, they're just childhood friends. Then again, what about all those times...'

**Flashback from Tamaki's P.O.V. ...**

_"Ladies, we think you're so cute when you daydream like that. Right, Jay?" Jay smirked lifted Haruhi's face by her chin. _

_"Strange, I was going to say that about you, Haruhi-kun." Jay's smirked widened. Haruhi blushed and looked away with her eyes._

_"Please Jay-kun, not in front of the ladies." The twins turned to the scene. The girls we're on the edge of their seats._

_"I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist."_

_"SO CUTE!" The girls suddenly squealed._

**_"STOP CALLING ME YOUR SON!"_**

_"Haruhi, I can teach you how to dance if you want."_

_"REALLY?!" Haruhi's eyes lit up, excitement in her voice. I wanted to tackle Jay, but the twins held me back. Jay nodded. "That'd be awesome!"_

_"YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING!~" The twins slapped a hand over my mouth._

_"Okay Haruhi, we'll start first thing tomorrow." Jay winked. I could've sworn I saw an evil grin creep onto his face..._

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Tamaki gasped, 'OH NO! HE'S NOT THINKING ABOUT HARUHI AS A SISTER! OR A FRIEND! HE WANTS TO BE HER BOYFRIEND! HE'S USING HIS CHARM TO KNOCK HER OFF HER FEET! HE WANTS TO STEAL HER FROM ME! I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN!' Tamaki finally got up and walked over to them. "Haruhi, can I talk to you..."

"No now."

"But its really important..."

Haruhi became aggravated, "SHUT UP SEMPAI!"... And he was back in his corner again. Then someone else came up to the 2.

"Um...Jay?" It was Kasuga-chan. "You can take a break if you want. I can help Haruhi."

"Thanks. Haruhi, you betta listen to her..." And with that, he ran away from them. They blinked.

'Ugh, more customers.' Jay thought as he walked over.

"Uh, Jay-kun, we heard you were teaching Haruhi how to dance." A girl with hazel eyes asked. Jay nodded, the girl turned pink. "I was wondering...if... can you teach me?~"

"Oh don't even waste your time asking him, he'll never say yes..." A girl with cold black eyes said. "Especially to someone like you." The girl became depressed, Jay scowled at the girl, "He doesn't have time to help people like..."

Jay stood up and extended a hand to the girl with hazel eyes, "I'll help you practice." Black eyes went wide-eyed.

"But, Jay-kun..."

"But nothing. She asked me to help her practice and I'm gonna help her..." Jay grabbed Hazel's hand, "Now if you'd please excuse us..." Jay taught her the correct stance.

"Jay-kun..." He looked up at her, "Why are you helping me? You didn't have to. Like that girl said, you probably don't have time for..."

"Let me tell you something...Black eyes is a jealous bitch..." Hazel looked at Jay, a little surprised by his language, but then chuckled. "I wanted to help you. And besides, I almost always have time. You seem nice. And, I think everyone should be treated fairly..." Hazel blushed. After a few minutes of teaching, guess-who came over and broke the 2 apart.

"Jay-kun! That's enough individual time with her! You need to come back over, everyone getting impatient." Black eyes shouted in his face. Jay's eyes narrowed.

"The only one who is impatient, is you. Stop being rude to Hazel."

"I'm not being rude, I'm just saying that she isn't worth your time." Jay snapped.

"And you think you are? Bitch, please..." Black eyes went wide-eyed at his comment. "If she isn't worth my time, than you definitely aren't. I think she is worth it, and I've had enough of you and your rude comments. I think you should leave."

"What?!"

"You heard me bitch, you aren't deaf. But if you are, what I said was...I THINK YOU NEED TO LEAVE, NOW." She ran over to Kyoya and Tamaki, who unaware to them, were listening the whole time.

"TAMAKI! KYOYA! JAY'S THREATENED ME! HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO HURT ME IF I DON'T LEAVE THE CLUB, AND I DON'T KNOW WHY!"

'Not this again!' Jay thought.

"Is that so?" Kyoya said not looking up from his laptop.

Tamaki looked at the girl then looked up at Jay, a bored expression on his face, "Is that true Jay?" Jay growled.

"That's a lie! Jay would never do that! He's too kind and loyal to his customers! It was all you!" Hazel defended.

"Don't listen to her! She was threatening me too! They're both doing it!" Tamaki yawned.

"I thought you would have learned from Princess Ayanokoji. We don't tolerate lies here."

Kyoya finally looked away from his computer, "We saw and heard everything. Jay just got annoyed by your constant rudeness, and asked you to leave."

"I'm only gonna say this one more time, Jay-kun is not that type of a man. Now, we also think you should leave, before some trouble occurs."

"Damn it Jay!" She ran out of the room crying. Hazel tugged Jay's sleeve.

"Jay-kun, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. If it wasn't for me none of this would have happened..." Jay lifted her face.

"Its not your fault. She was being a bitch, and she got what bitches deserve. I'm just upset that she interrupted our dance. Tell you what, if you come the party, I won't except any dance request, until I dance with you first. How does that sound?"

"Uh...great! T-Thank y-you J-Jay-kun." Jay smiled.

"Anything for my princess." Hazel blushed red as Jay let go. Suddenly Tamaki came up behind him.

"Jay..." He said in a serious tone. He then picked up Jay and started swinging him around and around, "THAT WAS GREAT! MAGNIFICENT! I'M SO PROUD TO CALL YOU MY SON! YOU GOT THE GIRL TO STAND UP FOR YOU AND EVERYTHING! DADDY'S SO PROUD OF YOU!"

"You know what, I'm not even gonna fight back this time. Its not worth it."

Kyoya went back to his laptop, "Jay..."

"Yeah?"

"You're quota's been raised again."

Jay's eyes widened, "WHAT THE F~"

**One week later...**

**Day 11...(GOING BY FAST, HUH?)**

"Its so good to see you everyone. The Ouran host club would like to bid you...Welcome..." Tamaki and everyone bowed. Lights came on, music started to play and everyone clapped.

"As always, we are here for your entertainment. (MPK:*singing the song*) Dance to your hearts content. Depending on you're dancing skills, one lucky lady will be chosen as tonight's Queen. And as her reward, a kiss on the cheek from our King."

"Good luck to you, my darlings..." The girls fainted. Jay and Haruhi sweatdropped.

"Haruhi, Jay, show some enthusiasm." The twin appeared behind them.

"Forgive us. We're just not use to this sort of thing~"

"To be Honest dawg, I **_so_** used to this...I just hate being here." Jay corrected Haruhi.

"Well since you're here, you might as well get something to eat. We have quite a spread..." The girls perked up.

"Haruhi, I've never really ate fancy food at a party. I always left before they got to that part. I don't know what to ask for!" Jay whispered.

"Uh, do you guys have fancy tuna?" Everyone gasped, except for Kyoya. The twins tackled them in hugs, Hikaru hugged Jay, Kaoru hugged Haruhi.

"Aw! You poor things! You poor little dears! Aww!" Tamaki jumped from the top level he was on to the bottom level. LIKE A NINJA!

"EPIC JUMP MANEUVER NO JITSU! KYOYA, GET SOME FANCY TUNA OVER HERE!" He commanded him, and he did so. Soon everyone started dancing with girls, except Haruhi and Jay.

"Why you not dancin'?" Jay asked. Haruhi shrugged.

"You?"

"I'm waiting for someone..."

"Don't tell me you're actually starting to have feelings for a girl..."

"DON'T EVEN GO THERE HARUHI! DON'T EVEN GO THERE!" Jay suddenly shouted. "I PROMISED HER YESTERDAY THAT I'D LET HER DANCE WITH ME FIRST!"

Haruhi waved her hands in front of him, "Calm down, I was only..."

"Excuse me..." They turned to see Hazel. "Um, Jay-kun..."

"Wow, Hazel, that a nice outfit." Jay wondered how much she spent on it. He walked over to extend a hand, "I told you, I always have time, especially for people like you. And I don't go back on promises. Shall we?" She nodded and they walked over to the dance floor, but not before Jay stuck his tongue out at Haruhi. "Alright, lets see what you've, daring..." Hazel blushed. Hazel had gotten pretty good from Jay's lesson. When the song ended, Jay thanked Hazel for the dance with a rose. She then walked over to Haruhi, but not before Kasuga-chan came over.

"I've been looking for you Haruhi, I was wondering, would you dance with me?" Haruhi was about extend a hand but in a flash, she was whisked out of the room. I quickly followed them to a dressing room. But the twins stood in the way.

"Yo, why you guys kidnapping Haruhi?"

"We're on a mission..." Hikaru explained.

"Its all part of the plan." Kaoru added.

"Mission?" It wasn't long before Haruhi came out, looking like a girl. "Damn! Totally didn't see that one coming!"

"Suzushima is waiting for you in an empty classroom across the hall. Ask him how he feels, Ok?"

"I know this is the boss' stregy but, its kinda unsettling." The twins put makeup on her.

"Who is that? Are you guys setting her up on a date?" Jay asked cofused.

"No. She trying to get Kasuga and Suzushima together. Haruhi is gonna ask him how he feel about...her..." Suddenly the host looked at Jay.

"What?"

"You. know. now."

"About..."

"Haruhi, being a girl..." The twins found a baseball bat. "GET HIM!"

"HOLD IT! I ALREADY KNEW!" They stopped dead in their tracks. "Remember? I told you guys me and her went to school together. This is normal for her..."

"WHAT THE BIG IDEA?!" Tamaki almost bust the door down rushing in. "HAVING EVERYONE IN HERE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THE GUEST ARE WAITING FOR~" As soon as he saw Haruhi, he gasped, blushing as red as a tomato.

"What do you think sir?"

"Haruhi you look so cute!" Hunny shouted.

"My face feels heavy. And its hard to walk in these shoes!" Haruhi complained walking past Tamaki and into the hallway.

"Good luck!"

"I can't believe she looks so cute..." Tamaki mumbled.

"Hey Jay-chan..."

"Stop calling me chan!"

"Okay, Okay. Jay-kun, will you have cake with me until Haruhi comes back?" Honey asked.

"Fine."

**Time Skip...**

Kasuga ran past us, Suzushima following closely behind. "Whats wrong with those 2" Everyone followed them to the balcony. When Suzushima finally caught Kasuga by the wrist, A spotlight shown on them.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, It is now time for the final dance of the night." Tamaki announced. "The last waltz was chosen by the host Club for, this couple." He pointed to them. They looked at each other, then Suzushima bowed extending a hand.

"Princess Kasuga, will you dance with me?" She looked at him then took his hand.

"...Yes." And they dance to their heart's content. When the song was over, The twins grabbed microphones. Jay noticed the banana peels in their hands.

"And now we'll announce the queen of the ball, Congratulations Princess Kanako Kasugazaki!"

"What are you guys doing with those bananas~" They shushed me.

"And Now a kiss from the king..."

"I'm ready..."

"Haruhi Fujioka will stand in for him." Tamaki and Haruhi gasped. "What? Kyoya did say an 'accident at the end of the night would be more thrilling.'..."

"If you do it Haruhi, we'll cut your debt by 1/3..." Haruhi almost raced down the steps after hearing that.

"Boss..." The twins whispered in Tamaki's ear, evil grins on there faces. "You know, this might be Haruhi's first kiss..." Tamaki jumped up and ran down the steps, toward her...

"WAIT HARUHI!~" Tamaki slipped on one of the banana peels...and instead of a kiss on the cheek, it turned into a kiss on the mouth. The 2 broke away quickly, girl screaming, as well as crying...especially Tamaki. Jay slapped a hand over mouth to keep from gasping.

Jay looked at the twins, "That was so wrong." They laughed. "Well, I guess this night was pretty fun after all."

**_EPIC END THEME MUSIC_**

* * *

**Jay & Haruhi: Physical Exams are tomorrow!?**

**Tamaki: But of course they are...**

**Hunny: But if word gets out that Haru-chan's a girl, she won't be able to stay in the host club anymore.**

**The twins: WE HELP YOU!**

**Jay: But what about me?! How do I keep my secret about me being a girl, without someone else finding out and me losing the bet!?**

**Mori: Next time, Beware The Physical Exams**

**Kyoya: The Ouran Host Club will be waiting for you.**

**Everyone: See you then!**

* * *

Kaoru: Not bad...for Chapter 2...Wait, what happened in Chapter 1? I don't remember... *rubs the back of his head*

MPK: *smiles evilly* Hope you enjoyed the chap! No flames please! R&R!


	3. Chapter 3 Beware Of The Physical Exams

_**EPIC THEME MUSIC**_

_**DAY 12...(Not to long now)**_

Today the Host Club was open outside for the Flower viewing Reception. The girls were even more excited than usual. The twins practiced their 'Brotherly love act', Tamaki his 'princely act', Kyoya was selling photo books of the host...don't know how because they didn't remember pics ever being taking of the hosts...& Honey and Mori...well I'm not sure what to call it. Each host were busy working except Haruhi & Jay, who had sneaked away from the group, in order to chit chat.

"Did you ever see that movie, **_Is _**_**H**_**_e Standing Right Behind Me?_**"

"No! What happened in it?"

"There were these 2 girls and this guy was like following them everywhere they went..." The host 'stalker' went back to work after hearing that comment, thinking that they were on to him, when in truth, it was what really happened in the movie. "But then one day The creep actually came up to them while they speaking to each other and..."

"JAY, HARUHI..."

"AHHHHHH!" Haruhi jumped on Jay's back, making Tamaki slightly jealous, but he ignored it. (MPK: Okay, If you haven't yet, take Tamaki of the list 'stalker' suspects. I just said 'The host stalker _went back to work_'. So if Tamaki came up to them, he's not it!)

"Haruhi, I didn't even get to the scary part yet..." Jay told her, but then noticed Tamaki. "Oh hey dawg. Didn't notice you." Tamaki had a rain cloud on his head for a minute. "What's up?"

"How are you 2 enjoying yourselves?" They nodded. "The flower reception isn't bad, is it? But even so, its even more busy BEING admired rather than DOING the admiring."

"You bloomin' in more ways than one today, Sempai..."

"YOU NOTICED! Well yes, today I'm in full glory of my beauty. Are you falling for me yet, Haruhi?" Jay looked at Haruhi who just sweatdropped and didn't respond. Suddenly the twins just came over out of no where and grabbed them, Hikaru holding Haruhi, Kaoru holding Jay.

"Hey Jay, Haruhi, have you decided on what elective courses you're taking this term? Lets all take Health class together. I mean it makes sense, we are in the same class..." The twins turned to Tamaki, "**_And we love to play doctor..._**" They said bringing the 2 closer to them. Tamaki went to his corner of woe.

"Say, Mommy dear..."

"What is it, Daddy?" Kyoya asked him.

"I have a new theory. Since they're all in the same class, the twins get to spend more time with my son and daughter than I do at the club. And what's worse, Hikaru and Kaoru have a greater chance of getting close to them, especially Haruhi, and if that happens..."

"Tamaki, you just realized this?" Tamaki got struck by lightning. (MPK: Pikachu, use thunder bolt!) "According to my research, the 4 of them spend about 9 hours of school time together. You on the other hand, only spend 2 hrs with them, during club activities. In other words, you're involvement in their life is a mere 3%..."

"AH! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" Tamaki ran over and grabbed Jay and Haruhi by the collar.

"Yo! What ur deal dawg?"

"Whats the big idea, Sempai?"

"STOP HANGING OUT WITH THOSE SHADY TWINS!" Tamaki commanded.

"HEY, WHO YOU CALLIN' SHADY! TAKE GOOD LOOK AT YOURSELF, BOSS!" The twins shouted at him. Tamaki let go.

"T-That's it...WE CAN'T HIDE THE FACT THAT HARUHI IS A GIRL ANYMORE..."

"Not this again..."

"ALL DADDY WANTS IS FOR YOU TO GO BACK TO THE GIRL YOU USED TO BE! TO SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GIRLFRIENDS AND LIVE A WHOLESOME LIFE!" Tamaki cried. "Go Back. GO BACK. GO BACK!" He shook her.

"Okay, its obvious he cares about Haruhi more than everyone else..." Jay mumbled.

"Don't rush things, she'll be found out soon..." Hikaru started.

"...Physical Exams are tomorrow." Kaoru finished.

"P-Physical E-Exams?" Jay and Haruhi stuttered.

**LATER AT THE CLUB...**

Tamaki is daydreaming again..."Are you okay, Tamaki?"

"He's starting to creep me out..." Hikaru shivered a little. Tamaki finally snapped out of it.

"Envious, Hikaru? Everything is going according to plan. I could seen how this was gonna play out from the beginning! This anime is obviously a romantic school comedy. Haruhi and I are main characters, and that means we're love interests."

"Then what are we?"

"You guys," Tamaki pointed at them. "Are the homosexual supporting cast." He took a stick and drew a straight line in the TILE FLOOR. "So please do not cross this line."

"You've gotta be kidding..." The twins said in unison. Jay stepped over the line, without a care in the world, making Tamaki's jaw drop.

"Okay, then what am I? Cause I'm not homosexual. Besides I still have to be important to the plot..."

"You can't important to the plot. I mean the writer hasn't even explained why you are here, or told your back story yet. So you must be on the supporting cast. (MPK:*laughing* Ha! Tamaki, you funny. Where has he been all this time?)

"I don't think so boss." Hikaru and Kaoru stepped over the line too, starting to make Tamaki mad. "Jay definitely isn't homo. He's always hanging with Haruhi and that has to have something do with the plot." They put an arm around Jay. "They kinda have explained Jay's back story a little. He went to the same school as Haruhi. Plus if he wasn't important, why does the story show him in most scenes more than any one else?" Tamaki didn't respond, for he was trying to find a way to answer is question, and was failing miserably.

"Besides, you don't get it Tama-chan..." Honey told him. "If Haruhi is found out, she won't be able to be in the host club anymore..." Tamaki froze. "But if she wears girl's clothes, they might look even more cute, right?"

"She dressed like a girl in middle school right? She must have been popular with all the boys."

"Yeah. According to reports, someone would declare their love for her about once a month."

"Yup, thats definitely true. Haruhi was one of the most beautiful girls at our old school."

"So I see, that would means the boss wouldn't even be able to get near her..."

"...but we would be able to, cause we're in the same class..."

"NO WAY!" Tamaki shouted. Then Haruhi came in. She couldn't even get in the door before Tamaki grabbed her. "HARUHI, I'LL MAKE SURE THAT NO ONE FINDS OUT THAT YOU'RE GIRL DURING PHYSICAL EXAMS! I PROMISE!"

"Okay..."

"I guess we would be annoyed watching other guys flirt with her." Everyone agreed. "We're in." They created a game plan.

"Oh I get it. You don't want me to be found out because if I am I can't be in the host club anymore, any can't repay my debt. Lets see, I still owe 5,333,332 yen. I guess I'll have to pay you guys back some other way." Haruhi laughed.

"DO SOMETHING BOSS! THE SUBJECT DOESN'T HAVE A MOTIVE TO STAY!" The twins shouted.

"ARE YOU SAYING YOU HATE BEING IN THIS HOST CLUB?!"

"Pretty much..."Tamaki went to his corner of woe again. "I'm mean if I'm found out, there's nothing I can do."

"She could care less." Jay deadpanned.

"We gotta find a way to keep her motivated..." Everyone looked at Jay.

"What are you looking at me for? Just because I knew her for a long time and I always hang up with her doesn't mean I would know..." They narrowed eyes, bored. "Fine." Jay pondered the situation. "Maybe...Fancy Tuna?" Haruhi's eyes widened.

"That's right! You didn't have a chance to try any during the last episode...did you?" Tamaki asked, a wierd expression on his face. The hosts snickered.

"W-What are you talking about? Just cause I've never had it, doesn't mean I'll fool everyone into thinking I'm a girl just to try it..." They looked at her, Haruhi faltered. "...Will I really get to try it?"

"SUCCESS!" Then the operation commenced.

_**DAY 13...(1 MORE DAY)**_

"Haruhi?" Jay whispered to her, as they walked down the hallway. "What am I gonna do!? You maybe safe but I'm not! Everyone's gonna find out unless I ask someone for help..."

"Look, I'll make sure to cover for you when they do for me, okay? We just gotta take this one step at a time." Jay took a sigh of relief. "But I can't but still think that this is just an advantage for you..."

"No its not. I mean someone could still find out. I mean I not in the clear yet...right?" Haruhi sweatdropped. The girls caught up with the twins.

"So whats with the formation A thing? Just what do they do during physical exams here at Ouran?"

"Its no different than a regular physical exam. Why would you think it'd be different just because we're rich?"

"You're right, I guess."

"Yes no different..." Jay mumbled sarcastically (She had been through a _rich kid_ physical exam before.) The doors opened revealing dozens of doctors and nurses.

The twins walked in, "See? Just another physical exam. The usual." Jay sweatdropped and hesitated going in, but did. Haruhi sweatdropped too.

"The usual?" Haruhi walked in as well. The twins went with their nurses leaving the 2 by themselves. 2 nurses came up to them.

"Mr. Fujioka, Mr..."

"Don't go there please...just call me Jay..." (I just realized, his name would be Mister Jay...cause I'm not revealing her real last name yet...sorry...)

"Okay, Jay, We'll be your nurses for your exams. Please come with us..." They dragged them down the hall. They soon noticed Honey and Mori in doctor disguises.

"Excuse me for the language...but what the hell?" Jay deadpanned again.

"They're so obvious..." Kyoya came out of nowhere.

"They're for backup. And the disguises are to create the mood, to make it feel like a real mission." The 2 sweatdropped. They watched as a doctor praised a girl for losing 2 kilograms from last year.

"Wow what a compliment. Not tryin' to be rude but, why they makin' such a big deal out of every student?"

"This maybe a school, but its still a business. The school chairman wants to keep the students happy, so he hired the docs and nurses himself. Most of the students have private nurses at home, so this is just, a formality." Suddenly a strange man bumped into Kyoya. He apologized and walked on. No one else saw but him. Then a there was a commotion over by where the twins' were taking there exams.

"We're not shy."

"Who needs a curtain?" They took their shirts off and everyone gasped and squealed, making Haruhi sweatdrop. Jay on the other hand tried to do a faceplant in order to hide the huge blush on her face. (No. Not a facepalm, a faceplant. She was burying her entire face in her hand, not just part of it.)

'Why the hell am I blushing? This is so embarrassing...' Jay thought as soon as Haruhi noticed. She sweatdropped more.

'Just like Hikaru...'

_"Jay, I brought you you're...HIKARU! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"_

_"Helping him change, like the boss said." Hikaru didn't turn around trying to hide his blush from me._

_"Well...you don't have to, I'll do it." Hikaru jumped in front of me._

_"What?! NO YOU CAN'T!" I saw his face and tried so hard to not laugh._

_"Why are you blushing Hikaru?" I asked him grinning. Hikaru's eyes widened and covered his face._

_"Fine! Do want you want!"_

'Are they in love or something?...Nah...'

"See? Physical Exam Day is very popular with the ladies."

Jay finally stopped blushing and looked up, "What's wrong with these girls?"

"I wont allow it Kaoru! I won't let them touch you!"

"What are you talking about Hikaru? You don't have a problem touching me when we play doctor at home...You can't stop toying with my body..." The girls squealed even more.

"Ha. No homo, right?..." The twins, who heard that comment miraculously, glared at Jay...but then smirked evilly. "Uh oh..." The twins walked over to him, smirks not disappearing.

"Hey Jay, aren't you taking your physical exams?" Kaoru asked him. Jay nodded slowly. "Well since you're not taking them yet, we need your help. Which one of us has the better abs?" Hikaru raised an eyebrow, but played along.

"Yeah, We may be twins, but one of us has to be, a bit more a mature than the other, one might say." Jay started to pale. "So who do you pick?" Hikaru raised his eyebrows flirtatiously. Jay blushed a little. The twins' eyes widened. They looked at each other, but then their smirks just grew as they looked back at Jay. Hikaru pushed Jay up against his chest, "Come on Jay, don't be shy its just your opinion, we're not going to get mad at you. So just at admit it already. Tell Kaoru that his abs are so weak it looks like a 2-pack..." Kaoru grabbed Jay from Hikaru, pushing him against his chest, Jay's blush just grows during all of this.

"Don't even go there Hikaru! I may be the younger twin, but my 6-pack is DEFINITELY better than yours..." Hikaru grabbed Jay back.

"Correct Kaoru, you have a 6-pack. Which is nothing against my 8-pack..." Kaoru grabbed Jay back.

"THATS NOT EVEN POSSIBLE!" Girls were just squealing with this was going on. Jay had turned completely red, covering his face with his hands. After a few more seconds of this, Jay being pulled back and forth by the twins, Kyoya finally stepped in.

"Stop it you 2. Its obvious that Jay doesn't want to answer, so lets just call it a tie." He said pulling Jay away from them.

"Aw, Kyoya..."

"...you're such a buzz kill. We where having fun..."

"Too much fun, now finish taking you're exams..." The twins growled but walked away, leaving a bunch of girls squealing and crying.

Jay finally looked up, blush disappeared, "Thanks Kyoya-Sempai..." Suddenly Mori and Hunny came out of nowhere and kidnapped Haruhi. "Wait, Haruhi...Not this again..." Jay started to panic, 'What am I gonna do? Without Haruhi, I'm gonna lose the bet for sure!...' Kyoya tapped him on the shoulder.

"Jay, why don't you go over to the special boys clinic..."

"Yo, you callin' me special? I don't know whether to be flattered or offended, so Imma just ignore ya..."

"Jay, its a place here in the school..."

"So?" Kyoya sighed. "Why I need to go there?"

"I know about your 'little situation'."

"Whatcha talkin' 'bout Kyoya..." Kyoya handed his book to him, which was turned to a specific page. After he finished reading, Jay went wide-eyed and shrieked, making Kyoya smirk. She looked at him. "You knew all this time?"

"After spying and looking through your records, yes...I did."

"Why did you...why would you go through..."

"I go through the records of all of our guests...and the host themselves. But they don't know that, and I plan to keep it that way. I just can't believe I am the only person that knew. It was so obvious...But Haruhi also knows, correct?"

"Yeah, but...I'd appreciate it if you don't tell her that you know..." Kyoya had a anime question mark on his head, which was quickly replaced with a knowing/understanding look.

"Oh, you mean the bet? Of course I can...but your quota will be raised again...but you could just pay it off since..."

"#1, I don't care about that, #2 I'm not gonna pay you guys, I have my benefits being a host. And #3, YOU KNOW ABOUT THE BET TOO?!"

"Yes, I told you, I knew after spying on you. Now would you please just go?" Jay narrowed her eyes but went anyway.

**With Haruhi...**

After the epic fail of Tamaki trying to pretend be Haruhi to protect her from the exams, Did I mention that was an epic fail? Well after that EPIC FAIL, Haruhi also headed to the special boys clinic, directed by Kyoya. As soon as she got there, a nurse told her to disrobe in a changing area. (Which happened to be right across from where Jay was changing. She made sure to stay quiet, for if Haruhi saw her there, she would have a hard time explaining why she was there.) But as Haruhi did, a strange man came in. "Uh, excuse me sir, but..." He put a hand over her mouth.

"Its not what you think! Please! Just keep quiet!" Then the host rushed in. Jay saw Tamaki jitsu-kick someone from where she stood. The twins soon noticed her, luckily the curtain hid her so that only her head showed.

"Jay! Come over here!"

"We're about to confront a pervert!"

"Uh, I'll be right there!" The twins raised an eyebrow but walked over to where the others where. Jay put back on the black tee she had on under the uniform, grabbed her uniform shirt and walked over too. Just in time to hear the perverts' story.

"I run a small medical clinic in the next town over, my name is Yabu..."

"What a terrible name for a doctor. Unless you're a quack..."

"I know. I was just hoping to see my daughter. My wife left me last month and took her with her. I know she attends school here."

"Why'd they leave you?" Yabu had a flashback...(You guys can watch the episode for that.)

"And that was it, they left me. I know I'm terrible at managing money, and I can't say no to anyone. I don't blame them for being tired of constantly living in debt, but I want to see my daughter one more time, so I came here. When I finally did make it here, I was mistaken for a doctor here to examine students. (Cause of the white lab coat) And when I tried to ask the girl about my daughter, she started screaming. The next thing I knew, people were chasing me!" Yabu started to cry.

"Ouran High School." Everyone turned to Jay. He slid on the uniform shirt, a breeze passed though as he did so. Both of the twins blushed, but neither knew about it. Jay started to button the cuffs. "You're lookin' for Ouran _Public High School_. Dis' Ouran Academy, da rich kid school. Your daughter doesn't go here." Everyone gasped especially Yabu. "Thats sad. You don't even know what school your own daughter goes to. I bet your relationship is messed up because you don't listen, not the debt."

"Jay! How'd you know?" Hunny asked him.

"Lets just keep it at, he doesn't seem like to come from the type of family that would have any relation to this school."

Tamaki bent down on his knees, "Kyoya, get me a map of the schools in this area, I'd like to help this man find his daughter." And soon, he was on his way.

"You sure about this? I mean even if he finds her, there's no guarantee that he'll speak to her..."

Jay interrupted, "We still have to give him that chance..."

"Sorry guys but uh, can you all get out." Everyone gasped and stared at Haruhi. "Nothing personal, I just have to finish my exam, as a male student of course." Tamaki started to cry.

"Aw! YOUR SO CUTE! GIVE ME A HUG!" He kept trying to grab Haruhi.

"Hey Sempai stop! Quit it...AH! DONT TOUCH ME THERE!"

"OH!" Jay and the twins shouted. "Red card! Looks like Tamaki is the real pervert..."

"WOULD YOU GUYS JUST GET OUT!"

_**EPIC END THEME MUSIC**_

* * *

**Jay: Whoa, Aster, Jesse, what are you two doing here?**

**Hikaru: *sounds angry* Who's are they?!**

**Kaoru: *sounding angrier* I don't know but that green haired punk is really starting to get on my nerves...**

**Haruhi: And who is that girl hiding behind the corner?**

**Tamaki: Says she's Kyoya's fiance...**

**Mori: Next time, Paid In Full?! , and Attack Of The Lady Manager!**

**Kyoya: The Ouran Host Club will be waiting for you...**

**Hunny: See you there!**

* * *

Before anyone says anything, this may be a Yugioh reference, if you've reconized it. You'll see how I add them in...THIS STILL HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YUGIOH GX! Read and **Review!**


End file.
